Sunday, April 13th, 2008
6:38 pm - Ow
So, I was riding my bike along the embarcadero today (in SF) with my lovely boy. We rode from soma out to Fort Mason center to try and attend the Chocolate Salon, but the line was a hojillian miles long and the day was too pretty to stand in it, so we decided to keep riding. We ended up at Fort Point, just under the bridge, and we played tourist for a while before we headed back. We got back to the embarcadero, took a right up the hills to go to Ghirardelli Square for a treat, and about 50 feet from it my damn seat mount on my bike broke. We clamor around to get the pieces, hoping it can be fixed, but I managed to sheer off the mounting bolt (as an aside, nothing more embarrassing than breaking the seat on your bike when you're a big girl, except maybe doing it on the corner of a major tourist landmark on one of the first really nice weekends of the year... oy).

Anyhow, so we spend some time trying to figure out where the nearest muni picks up (not close) and then he offers to let me ride his bike while he walks mine, but his bike is WAY too big for me, I cant reach the brakes at all with my butt on the seat. There's no way I'm walking 5 miles back dragging my bike, so I grit my teeth and ride my bike back... standing up the whole way.

My legs are giant rubber noodles *cry*

current mood: ow ow ow ow

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Monday, December 17th, 2007
1:20 pm - Pushing my limits for a good cause
A very good friend of mine told me about this event, and I decided to sign up and ride it with her. We'll spend the next 5 months training, and hopefully I won't keel over and die when the day comes to actually start riding.

Thinking about 545 miles of biking is pretty intimidating to me, but I'm thrilled about the challenge, and I'm happy to help out with a good cause.

My homepage is here:

I plan to keep track of all my training there once I start, which will be after Christmas. If you're inclined, any donations would be greatly appreciated. I need to bring in 2500$ by the end of May as part of participating.

I'm so excited!

current mood: Whee!

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Thursday, November 15th, 2007
12:32 pm
And they say that alcoholics are always alcoholics
Even when they're as dry as my lips for years
Even when they're stranded on a small desert island
With no place in 2,000 miles to buy beer!
And I wonder
Is he different?
Is he different?
Has he changed what he's about?..
Or is he just a liar with nothing to lie about?

current mood: anxious

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Wednesday, November 14th, 2007
2:24 pm - Never has death seemed so urgently sweet
If only I could travel back in time and stop myself from pasting blind *crawls in a hole and pulls a rock over*

To put this in perspective, dhcp-dev is a chat channel at my work that is watched by almost EVERY SINGLE ONE of my coworkers and many of the managers. I accidentally pasted in a line from an AIM chat when I meant to paste in a ticket number....

# -> From Hikahi [I miss you cupcake!], to dhcp-dev:
# - so, I have a ticket from PSU (SomeoneElse(1:51:32 PM): like I said, I
# - haven't found a chick out here who can compare to you
# -> From Hikahi [I miss you cupcake!], to dhcp-dev:
# - damnit
# -> From Someone, to dhcp-dev:
# - Interesting ticket.
# -> From Someone, to dhcp-dev:
# - I wasn't aware DCS caused pastebuffer malfunctions. We really have to do
# - better QA.
# -> From Hikahi [I miss you cupcake!], to dhcp-dev:
# - anyhoo... so, I have a ticket from PSU 92929, they are running in
# - a failover, and seeing a problem that i think is related to 91191

current mood: distressed

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Monday, November 12th, 2007
10:52 am - The heart has reasons that reason does not understand
My grandfather died a decade before I was born. He was at a bar with friends when he was struck down by a massive heart attack. His eighth. He was in his late 40's.

My father had his first triple heart bypass when he was 41. He had a second triple heart bypass when he turned 50. He still has chest pain if he exercises too heavily, but they cant safely do any further surgery so he just has to take medication and be careful.

This weekend I had my cholesterol tested and the results were emailed to me yesterday. My levels are officially on the high side of high. I'm only 28 years old.

It's hard to wrap my brain around this. It's a very good thing to know so soon, with medication and diet I can easily control this. It's terrifying though, to see what my father has gone through and know that I might have to do the same someday. I don't want to let them carve into my chest and peer at my heart. It's a shy thing, and wary of strangers.

current mood: afraid

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Tuesday, October 2nd, 2007
10:54 am - On fitness and nature
I've been riding my bike and taking the train to work for a while now, though I've only been really dedicated about it since I got back from burningman this year. I was getting off the train at the Redwood city station, which left me with a nice short ride (1.5 miles) to work. The only problem being that RWC station is the first station in zone 2, which means it's an extra 50$/month to ride to there than if I got off at the previous station (Menlo Park).

The Menlo Park station is approx 3.5 miles from my work, which doesn't seem far but I'm really not in very good shape, so it's a tough ride for me (20-25 min depending on traffic). Nevertheless, as of Monday I've bought my monthly train pass to take me to Menlo Park only, so I'll be making that ride twice daily from now on.

I'm excited about it, not just because it's another step closer to improving my fitness (I've been keeping up on my running too) but because the ride is beautiful. I pass right through Atherton on the way, and the majority of the time I'm riding under tall old growth trees. It's amazingly beautiful and it helps me start and end my work days with a light heart. I never would have guessed that biking to work would be one of the biggest factors in increasing my overall happiness, but that's exactly what its done. :)

current mood: Active & Happy

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Tuesday, September 18th, 2007
10:57 am - Running running running
So I went for a run tonight for the first time in ages (2 years at least). I did a mile and a half, and I had to alternate running and walking, and it hurt, but it was wonderful. I wish I had never stopped before.

Now I just need to keep it up, easier said than done ;)

current mood: proud

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Monday, September 10th, 2007
9:04 pm - So much water love
I've rediscovered my love of swimming. The place I moved into a couple months back has a pool, and I'd kinda forgotten the fact till just the other day. I miss swimming so badly, I used to go pruney in my grandparents pool every damn day of summer vacation when I was a kid.

I swear, if I could have surgery to put in working gills, I would so do it in a heartbeat. There's nothing like the peace found under the surface, the wavering light and the coolness and the soft blur.

For me, heaven is under the sea.

current mood: content

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Friday, August 3rd, 2007
11:16 am - Kill me
# ls -la
total 1079840
drwxrwxr-x   9 root     sys           512 Aug   3 03:10 .
drwxr-xr-x   47 root     sys         1024 Jul 16 15:11 ..
drwxrwxr-x   5 adm       adm           512 Sep 20   2005 acct
-rw-------   1 uucp     bin             0 Sep 20   2005 aculog
-rw-r--r--   1 root     root     19527654 Sep 28   2006 core.txt
drwxr-xr-x   2 adm       adm           512 Sep 20   2005 exacct
-r--r--r--   1 root     root       316064 Aug   3 09:36 lastlog
drwxr-xr-x   2 adm       adm           512 Sep 20   2005 log
-rw-r--r--   1 root     root         103 Aug   3 11:09 messages
-rw-r--r--   1 root     root     14517003 Aug   2 18:46 messages.0
-rw-r--r--   1 root     root       489744 Jul 17 03:10 messages.1
-rw-r--r--   1 root     root     1028136 Jul 10 03:09 messages.2
-rw-r--r--   1 root     root     1028425 Jul   3 03:06 messages.3
-rw-r--r--   1 root     root     355882037 Sep 28   2006 messages.core
-rw-r--r--   1 root     root     79717626 Sep 28   2006 messages.core2
-rw-r--r--   1 root     root     79717486 Sep 28   2006 messages.core3
drwxr-xr-x   2 root     sys           512 Sep 20   2005 pool
drwxrwxr-x   2 adm       sys           512 Sep 20   2005 sa
drwxr-xr-x   2 root     sys           512 Sep 20   2005 sm.bin
-rw-rw-rw-   1 root     bin             0 Sep 20   2005 spellhist
drwxr-xr-x   2 root     sys           512 Sep 20   2005 streams
-rw-------   1 root     root         1716 May 27 08:06 sulog
-rw-r--r--   1 root     bin         4092 Aug   3 09:36 utmpx
-rw-r--r--   1 root     root           0 Sep 20   2005 vold.log
-rw-r--r--   1 adm       adm       518940 Aug   3 09:36 wtmpx
# pwd
# cat messages
Aug   3 11:09:17 syslogd: /var/adm/messages       : No such file or directory


HOW does syslog find /var/adm/messages and log IN THAT FILE that /var/adm/messages doesn't exist? HOW?


current mood: Infuriated

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Monday, June 4th, 2007
1:50 pm - Cooties and laundry
hikahi: okay, you just reminded me of a convo with kess
hikahi: she was bitching about laundry and seperating colors, and I offhandedly said 'I never bother separating when i do laundry'
hikahi: and she pauses and goes
hikahi: "Thats because you were raised by a boooooooooy"
Thomas: lol, that's great
Thomas: i don't bother separating anything
Thomas: i do have my delicates though
hikahi: lol
hikahi: i dont wanna know
Thomas: lol
Thomas: you know, some of us actually own nice clothing ... i know it's a shocker and all
hikahi: psh, dont lie, i know how you dress
Thomas: haha
Thomas: linen needs the delicate cycle =)
Thomas: along with all my non-cotton shirts
hikahi: For me, everything goes in the same washer, warm water, regular wash
Thomas: lol
Thomas: yeah, that's the way i used to do it up until a couple months ago
hikahi: did you catch cooties or something?
Thomas: i bought nice clothes =)
hikahi: yup, cooties, classic case
Thomas: lol
Thomas: i guess it's time to go through the decootification process
hikahi: you'll need intensive detox that involves large amounts of manly alcohol and back slapping
Thomas: i do that every weekend though
hikahi: oh no
hikahi: you have advanced cootieitis then, you'll need a macho gland transplant
Thomas: oh no! where do i get one of those?
hikahi: Not sure, i'm not a guy, duh
Thomas: hmmm, sure you aren't ?
hikahi: :P
hikahi: Just ask all your guy friends, tell them you need a new macho gland, stat... i'm sure one of them will know, unless you're all infected
Thomas: i knew there was a reason i shouldn't have all gay frirends
hikahi: better check how they do laundry before you ask
hikahi: oh, being gay has nothing to do with it
hikahi: gay people are naturally immune to cooties
Thomas: but, i'm gay and got cooties!
hikahi: you're not gay, dont lie :P
Thomas: am too
hikahi: are not!
Thomas: happy, happy, happy!
hikahi: hahaha

current mood: amused

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Friday, May 25th, 2007
3:03 pm - Chugga Chugga Chugga Chugga Choo CHOOO!
Only a few short days and I have fallen head over heals in love.

Taking the train to work is the best thing ever, SO much less stress than 7am 101N traffic, peaceful, easy, and fun. I'm in love with it. Once my move is done and the old place is cleaned up, I will have 1000 times less stress in my life than I have been living with the past few weeks. I can't freaking wait!

Oh train, how do I love thee, let me count the ways!

Alright, alright, I'll stop. :P

current mood: amused

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Monday, May 14th, 2007
10:37 am - Unbelieveable jobs #128

current mood: Amazed

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Friday, May 11th, 2007
2:40 pm - Whee
I need a brain implant.


Ha, okay, no really, it's more like want a brain implant. Internet enabled for quick access to google and wikipedia.

I often find myself with a quiet moment to myself to think when I am traveling to and from work. In those moments, I often muse about totally random crap, video game trivia, a work problem, or just about anything. In those instances, when I reach the point where my brain naturally says to itself "I wonder about *blah*, there must be something *foo* that does *whizbang* with that" my brain... stutters.

It dawned on me this morning that the stutter was my brain trying to figure out why the answer was inaccessible. It never happens when I am at the computer, because I just open a new window, formulate a google search, and away I go.

My brain is disturbed when it can't find that data access method. My brain has incorporated the internet into its data management/memory systems D:

current mood: cybernetic meltdown

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Tuesday, April 10th, 2007
1:45 am - Little girl dreams
Like all little girls who grew up watching Disney princesses always find their beautiful happy endings, some small lonely girl inside of me has always been searching for a prince charming.

When he wiped my tears away and kissed my passions afire beneath a starry sky, I though he was a prince come to sweep me off my feet to a happy ending, never to be lonely again.

I fought hard for that story for several years. Harder than I fought for anything else in my life. Now I look at those years and realize that I was fighting so hard for happy endings that I was letting everything else fall apart around me.

There's nothing more demoralizing than fighting for a happy ending beside someone who isn't living in the same fairytale as you.

Screw princes! It's high time that I gave my fairy godmother a swift kick in the shin, appropriated her wand, and started making my own magic.

A doll crafting, menagerie raising, mess making, game playing, cube jockey, silly geek girl, who decided the Disney stories were old fashioned, shaved her head (one last happy memory from the not-a-prince) and went cackling off into the sunset and lived happily ever after.

The hardest person in the world to live with is yourself, it's about damned time I fought for that. Princes are overrated anyhow.

current mood: Happy
Wednesday, March 28th, 2007
11:36 pm - WOOT!
I got a job! I got a job! I got a job! I got a job! I got a job! I got a job! I got a job! I got a job! I got a job! I got a job! I got a job! I got a job! I got a job! I got a job! I got a job! I got a job! I got a job! I got a job! I got a job! I got a job! I got a job! I got a job! I got a job! I got a job! I got a job! I got a job! I got a job! I got a job! I got a job! I got a job!


I got a job! I got a job! I got a job! I got a job! I got a job! I got a job! I got a job! I got a job! I got a job! I got a job! I got a job! I got a job! I got a job! I got a job! I got a job! I got a job! I got a job! I got a job! I got a job! I got a job! I got a job! I got a job! I got a job! I got a job! I got a job! I got a job! I got a job! I got a job! I got a job! I got a job!

*passes out*

current mood: OMG WOW

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Tuesday, March 27th, 2007
12:52 pm - Frozen Waves
Waves washing up on a beach and instantly freezing, turning the shore into a giant slushie factory. ;)

Click me

current mood: Amazed

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Sunday, March 25th, 2007
1:24 am - Arg! Stupid assholes suck.
Some drunk idiots tonight drove down my street, sideswiped three parked cars, and then ran smack into the back of another so hard that it AND the car parked in front of it were driven off the road into the neighbors front yard. They then leapt from the car and fled the scene.

I'm sitting quietly at my computer and I hear *bang* *bang bang* *SMASH* *bangSMASH* so I scrambled outside to see WTF. My car is fine (thank god I park off street), but several of the cars they hit are likely to be totaled, and others will have several hundred dollars worth of repairs. Pisses me off because I don't exactly live in the best neighborhood, all the families here work hard and have little. They didnt need this shit.

On the plus side, all my neighbors got to see me in a black Muu-Muu-like nightdress thing that I wear sometimes. *UGH*

current mood: angry

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Friday, March 23rd, 2007
2:00 am - Taking a distant view

Earth, photo taken from Voyager, 4 billion miles distant

... A mote of dust suspended in a sunbeam.

-Carl Sagan, May 11 1996

current mood: melancholy

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Monday, February 5th, 2007
11:54 pm - Sciiiiiience!
This evening, while at techshop, I had the most peculiar thing happen to me. I was sitting calmly, chatting with a couple other nerdy types and I start to notice a strange feeling. It's a little like a muscle cramp sort of feeling at first, a mild non-painful warmth/burning sensation on the outside of my left thigh. As soon as I notice it, I also notice that it's VERY rapidly becoming much sharper, and will soon be very painful. I puzzle over it for a moment, there's nothing near me that's hot, though there is some weird equipment in the building and I have a moment where I wonder if I'm being hit by some leaking microwave or something.

I gently touch my leg, and there isn't any pain, so I reach into my pocket, and almost jerk my hand back out in surprise. All of my keys, and all of the change in my pocket is scorching hot. Not quite hot enough to burn, but damn close! I scramble to start pulling everything out, dumping my keys on the table, and scooping out the change, and there, I find the culprit...

4 AA sized rechargeable batteries are mixed in with all the change in my pockets. I can only assume that they managed to make a complete circuit somehow with all the other metal bits, and the energy released caused everything connected to the circuit to overheat. I replace everything in my left pocket but move the batteries to the right pocket and mystery solved!

Isn't science neat? :D

current mood: dorky

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Friday, January 5th, 2007
5:17 pm - Lost at sea vs Sailing the ocean blue
So, as of today, I no longer work for the big fruity computer company. On one hand, I am devistated. I've worked here 7 years, made great friends, got to feel like a l33t geek when I talked about my work, and generally let my life revolve around my work as the email goddess.

On the other hand, I feel like I have finally jolted free of the rut I was stuck in, and the road ahead looks long and wide and full of adventures. I've considered leaving the computer industry alltogether, and this might be the perfect opportunity for it if I can manage. I may go back to another computer job, cause rent is due and all that, but I would really like to explore the other options in my life right now, and see where this road will take me.

Trying to see the bright side anyway, either way i'm still not sure if I'm lost at sea or not.

current mood: anxious

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